


Be not Guilty

by SWModdy



Series: Matters of guilt and forgiveness [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hurt, It was suppose to be a oneshot, Maybe comfort to be, This story is under developement lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-26 05:06:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 13,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13850697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SWModdy/pseuds/SWModdy
Summary: When Obi-Wan dies on Bandomeer instead of becoming someone's padawan he does not expect to ever see anything again. He almost wishes he didn't.





	1. One little dead boy

Holding onto a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies or at least that’s what Obi-Wan had once been told long ago by one of the creche attendants as when she had comforted him about Bruck.

It had been wonderful, to have someone listen to him, listen to his problems, try to comfort him and even scold Bruck even if that hadn’t worked out to anyone’s favor.

Not that it mattered anymore Obi-Wan thought sadly as he sat unseen on the arena benches, watching his former creche mates with the saber instructor. Some of them were padawans and some of them were still Initiates, not yet turned thirteen and therefor still in the temple for that last chance at a Master.

He smiled as he finally saw Bant, the mon calamari wobbling slightly in her position before reinforcing her position.

“Well done Bant.” He called out only to deflate when no one heard him. Pulling his robe around himself tightly, Obi-Wan started to sob quietly.

What did it matter if he let his emotions out?

Obi-Wan Kenobi had died on Bandomeer, died alone in a cave after being sent away by the Jedi Order.

But instead of joining the Force, he’d become this… ghost like entity.

A ghost who had just gone home to where he felt familiar and safe at least.

Shuddering a bit as his tears finally stilled, Obi-Wan sat up straight with no idea how long he’d been crying when he finally managed to stop, rubbing at his sore eyes with his hands to dry them up before looking back to the arena floor with a small sniffle.

The class was done at least, so half an hour had gone by at least Obi-Wan figured as he took in the knights and master’s sparring before he got to his feet slowly and stumbled down the benches. Hesitating in where to go, Obi-Wan finally decided to go to the gardens.

At least there he wouldn’t feel… isolated.

Of course walking through the hallways presented their own unique challenges for Obi-Wan as it meant passing through the Jedi of the temple and that just…

It felt so wrong to walk through someone.

Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan steeled himself and carefully started to walk through the hall, staying as close to the wall as he could and avoid anyone talking through him or visa verse.

()()()

“Repeat yourself you will.” Yoda rasped out, hands tight on his gimer stick as he stared at the holo of the agricore master. Obi-Wan quietly leaned against the grandmaster of the Order’s chair, watching with him and the council masters.

The lady shifted, taking a deep breath. “We found the body of Obi-Wan Kenobi, he hadn’t run of as we earlier suspected but was… captured and expired in captivity while in the grasp of Xanatos Du Crion.” She murmured.

“How master Fero?” Master Koon murmured.

“He perished in a mining tunnel belonging to Offcore, a mix of dehydration and physical exhaustion we believe though he was covered in what we closely identified as whip marks. Young Kenobi was equipped with a blast collar around his neck that was still active when we found him but one of our engineers managed to remove it but it explains why he didn’t just escape.” Fero bit her lips. “Would… the temple wish for him to be returned? He wasn’t an agricore member yet though we would do the burial ri-”

“Send him _home_ you _will_.” Yoda said sharply, something choked in his voice but firm in his voice.

Master Fero bowed at that. “Of course master Yoda, I will send him with the next shuttle leaving for Coruscant.”

There was some more conversations after that but Obi-Wan didn’t really pay attention to it. Instead he focused on the old man he had once called his teacher, resting his hand over the green one still grasping his cane as tightly as Yoda could, ears hanging low as old eyes stared at the wood without really seeing it.

“…Its okay master Yoda. You couldn’t have known, I don’t blame you.” Obi-Wan murmured, settling his head against the mans shoulder too. “Its okay.” He whispered, his voice unheard by everyone.

What could one dead little boy do.


	2. Guilty masters

Watching the sheet draped form that was him, Obi-Wan finally looked to the other side of the stone slab where Yoda was sitting with his cane in his lap as he watched the corpse that had once been Obi-Wan.

What the grandmaster was thinking, Obi-Wan wasn’t sure but it wasn’t anything good, that much he could tell by the down turned ears and the weary eyes full of tiredness.

“…Its cold here in the pyre hall master Yoda. You shouldn’t be here, its not good for your old bones.” He finally whispered.

Per usual Yoda did not respond but it made Obi-Wan feel better to voice his thoughts at least.

Finally the old man let out a loud, weary sigh as his shoulders slumped, finally looking away before crawling off the slab and letting himself drop onto the floor instead, his cane and feet clicking onto the stone floor.

Watching him make his way to one of the stone benches to sit instead, Obi-Wan blinked as a long haired master entered the room. ‘Oh… its master Jinn.’ He realized a few moments after studying him, watching the man approach Yoda and sit down with him.

“…The creche master are collecting his friends, they’ll be here in about ten or twenty minutes.” Qui-Gon murmured to Yoda, staring at Obi-Wan’s body with a regretful face.

Did he blame himself too?

Obi-Wan tilted his head before shuffling off the stone slab to walk over to the two Jedi masters.

“…Take him as your student you did not, why?” Yoda asked after a few long moments.

Shifting a bit, Qui-Gon looked at Yoda before shrugging. “I felt he was too angry, too impulsive… I… wanted to blame him so I wouldn’t feel guilty for being his last chance to become a Jedi.” He confessed to the old man.

After all, his petty reasons in the face of a child’s death didn’t matter anymore. Only the truth mattered now.

Folding his hands in his lap, Qui-Gon sighed heavily as Obi-Wan watched the two masters. “You were so insistant he be my student and I just… I became so tired of you forcing me into a corner. Forcing me to give in… I don’t like having my back to the wall.” He murmured.

There was silence for what felt like long minutes.

“Forced your hand, I should not.” Yoda finally admitted. “But fond of Obi-Wan I was. Too _old_ I am for another padawan but to see him go… I could not and a natural bond between you two I sensed.” Yoda sighed heavily and Qui-Gon lifted a hand to rest it on the old mans back. “An opportunity I thought it was… now gone Obi-Wan is.”

Nodding slowly, Qui-Gon glanced at the covered form. “…There’s been talk of reforms on the Initiates by many masters. To keep them in the temple an extra year to prepare them for different paths if they aren’t selected as padawans, make them ready to leave.” He murmured.

Yoda nodded. “Only talk so far this is, but… reforms we may need. Terrified Obi-Wan was of leaving the temple, his home…” He looked down.

Shifting off the bench and inching himself around Qui-Gon’s legs, Obi-Wan sat himself down next to Yoda instead, leaning against his side. “Its okay… I promise its okay.” He whispered, a bit desperate. “You tried your best, I know you tried your best, you didn’t want this master Yoda, I don’t blame you or Master Jinn.” He whispered, shaking as tears dripped unseen down his face.

Things didn’t get any better when Bant and the others arrived in a small mass, guided by a worn looking Dolan.

Bant was gripping Garen and Reeft hands, her bottom lips wibbling.

All three of them bore obvious signs of crying but none more than Bant and finally Obi-Wan couldn’t help but curl up and hide in his own legs, crying as his own damn funeral started, the stone slab lowered slowly into the floor where his physical body would be cremated.

He wished he was properly dead.

He wished he wasn’t a stupid ghost.


	3. 'Sleep'?

Life is not easy but it passes by slowly and steadily even for someone dead.

Obi-Wan isn’t sure why he’s still around but he tries to find comfort in watching his friends grow and become padawans themselves as he watches them with their masters.

Other days he sits in the council chamber with Yoda and quietly listens to all their conversations. He hears a lot of things an Initiate or padawan should never hear but it doesn’t really matter since he’s dead and sometimes the things they talk about goes over Obi-Wan’s head honestly.

As a new year passes by and he sits by Yoda’s chair with his head barely touching the old mans leg, he takes note that Yoda sometimes seems to… look at him.

He can’t see Obi-Wan, that’s clear.

But he might be able to sense him from what Obi-Wan can tell as Obi-Wan spends hours sitting there by the chair or just beside Yoda in the mans quarters and watches him have tea and speak with friends.

He leaves for private conversations though, it feels too much like intruding on the old master to stay there and watch him and master Dooku speak or any of the others who visit him for friendly chitchats.

He watches how his friends grow and change with the passing of seasons and sits at their sides when they are sick or injured, talking about the things in the temple that he’s seen or heard despite them not seeing him or hearing.

It makes Obi-Wan feel better to speak, makes him feel that he’s not as isolated and scared.

Obi-Wan discovers he can ‘sleep’ in a manner so to speak.

Its kind of odd, something he can’t really explain as he sits against the Force sensitive tree that makes the heart of the temple with his eyes closed. He can loose days, almost weeks when he sits against it and closes his eyes.

Just breathing as a lulling sort of calm fills him.

If pushed on the subject, he’d almost say that it felt like he was breathing with the galaxy in a sense.

As the years started to pass him by, Obi-Wan watched how people changed and he remained the same as he followed his year mates to their classes to learn the lessons they were having.

Hey, just because he was dead didn’t mean he wanted to stop learning about the galaxy.

It was hard to not be able to do homework and read on his own though, retaining the knowledge he learned when it wasn’t in use… like the lessons on how to pilot a ship or how to duel but at least Obi-Wan could still do katas.

But when he didn’t do any of those things, he explored.

The temple was huge and some places hadn’t been explored in what looked like decades.

Like this dusty level.

It was very cold though…

Usually Obi-Wan didn’t sense cold or warmth anymore but here…

In this lower level chamber with dark halls, he felt an icy sort of coldness that made the hairs of his neck stand on end. Had he been less brave, he would have left but as it was, he continued slowly moving through the dark halls.

Warily peeking around corners before following through them or passing through doors, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around himself while wondering why he was cold and scared in the Jedi temple. And not to mention dead!


	4. Please

Force it was so cold.

Obi-Wan had been exploring the lower level for what felt like ages and it was just getting colder and colder in a way he couldn’t understand at all. He was, after all, dead.

He wasn’t suppose to feel anything of cold or warmth or even the breeze the few times he had noticed there was one.

Yet down here…

Every single time he came down to these dusty, dark halls that hadn’t been in use for what seemed like decades, he felt the cold keenly settle into his dead bones.

‘ _Jidai._ ’

A sibilant whisper echoed through the halls, freezing Obi-Wan in place as a gasp escaped his mouth, frost smoke escaping him to Obi-Wan’s utter shock as he hadn’t done that since he died years ago.

‘ _Woyu Jidai_.’ The hiss came again before a cackle echoed and Obi-Wan whimpered in fear, backing away.

He was not ashamed to admit that he turned tail and ran at that moment as he could feel darkness shadowing his every step as he raced through walls and up stairs until the presence faded away.

‘What… what was that?’ Obi-Wan shuddered, wrapping his arms around himself before looking around.

Slowly he started walking, moving to find Yoda, first by going to his quarters and then up to the Jedi council tower where he settled as usual against the old mans chair while pressing his head ever so slightly to the others legs with his arms wrapped around himself, shivering still as the masters spoke about important matters that he didn’t listen to for the most part.

He felt frozen to the bones still, as if something had put cold claws into him and he was struggling to shake them lose despite how far away he was.

After a moment he took a deep breath and tried to meditate like when he sat by the Force sensitive tree, slowly feeling heat return to him as he calmed down and let the Force fill him in quiet waves.

Breath with the galaxy.

Warmth in his body.

Peace in his heart.

There was a sharp thump right beside him, Obi-Wan’s eyes flying open in surprise as he looked up at Yoda only to meet the old master’s eyes square on. Obi-Wan’s eyes went wide and if he had bothered to look around the Council chamber in that moment he’d see that all of them were looking right at him.

“Master?” He questioned, hopeful as he from the corner of his eyes caught sight of the cane on the floor, turning onto his knees while staring at the old being.

Slowly a three clawed hand reached out, brushing through Obi-Wan’s face. “…Felt that I did. Obi-Wan?” Yoda questioned in quiet bewilderment and shock, a bit hurt leaking into his voice.

“…You can’t see me.” Obi-Wan’s shoulders sunk, his hope deflating not unlike how air went out of a punctured balloon.

And then he caught on to the words, looking quickly back up at Yoda. “But you felt me. You noticed me. You…” He looked around, finding the rest of the Council looking towards him too. “You all felt me…” Obi-Wan breathed out.

Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan reached for the Force again, reached for the calm, to breath with the galaxy once again while letting his excitement out into the Force.

‘Please… please, I’m so tired of being alone…’ He thought desperately.


	5. We have hope

A shaking hand cupped his cheek and Obi-Wan let out a sob, pressing into it only to fall sideways, yelping as his eyes flew open to stare up at Yoda as he laid on the council floor.

And Yoda stared back, ears quivering as the old being smiled sadly at him. “Hello.” He whispered back in a croaky voice.

“H-Hi.” Obi-Wan sobbed back before covering his face, crying harder then he could ever remember doing before in his life or death.

He felt sore by the time he finished and removed his hands from his face to find Mace Windu on his knees beside him, the Korun slowly passing his hand through Obi-Wan’s shoulder with a look of focus on his face before he took note of Obi-Wan’s silence.

When he did, he gave what Obi-Wan had come to learn was a kind smile to the redhead. “Better?” He questioned.

Obi-Wan nodded, swallowing heavily. “Better.” He whispered, sniffing hard.

“Been here all along you have Obi-Wan?” Yoda questioned quietly, watching as Obi-Wan continued sitting on the floor.

Nodding tiredly, Obi-Wan sighed. “I died on Bandomeer and showed up here… I can’t leave the temple. I don’t know why so I’ve just… followed people around and explored.” He shrugged, peering up at the older Jedi’s.

The council exchanged looks before smiling indulgingly at him.

“I find it interesting that you’ve made yourself seen now… how?” Mace questioned, still kneeling beside Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan shrugged. “I meditated? I spent a lot of time meditating. Sometimes it feels like I breath with the galaxy when I do it, sitting down by the Force sensitive tree… I kind of sleep than but not really cause I’m aware at the same time?” He looked around.

Rubbing his chin, Plo gave a hum. “The cosmic Force perhaps? He is…dead, he would have an ease at reaching it after all.” The kel dor murmured.

“Maybe, but that still doesn’t change the fact that young Kenobi is here, among us. In spirit form rightly enough but here.” Mace said before looking sharply at Obi-Wan. “And fading out of sight.” He said in alarm.

Obi-Wan looked down at himself in confusion then back at Master Windu. “I’m not?”

“Fading for us you are, see you for long periods we can not. Gather more of the Force you need to.” Yoda settled on sadly. Then he sat up more firmly. “Find a solution we will however. Stay like this you can not, isolated you are.” He looked around sharply.

It gave Obi-Wan hope, for the future.

Maybe…

Maybe he could speak and be together with others again?

Actually talk to someone instead of just filling his own silence. That others could see and hear him again…

Obi-Wan shuffled forward and settled against Yoda’s chair again, settling his head against the mans leg once again. “Okay… I’ll wait until than.” He said, his voice a mere whisper, smiling shakily when Yoda reached out and tried to stroke his hair only for the clawed fingers to pass through it. “I’ll wait.” Obi-Wan settled on, sniffing quietly as he let himself fade from view, too worn to try and gather whatever the cosmic Force was, if that was even what helped him be seen.

Yoda ran his clawed fingers along Obi-Wan’s cheek and Obi-Wan could swear that he could feel it… just a little bit.

“I know we were talking about other things but I wonder why young Kenobi lingers.” Madam Nu murmured, watching the spot Obi-Wan sat though he wasn’t sure if she or anyone could still see him. “Its at least esoterically interesting.” She rubbed lips. “And worrying in case there are others like him around.”

Yoda hummed, peering at her. “Ask Obi-Wan next time we shall. For now, rest he needs. Wait until next time he appears to ask we will.” He peered down where he believed Obi-Wan still to be and smiled in his direction.

Obi-Wan smiled meekly in return.

There was hope again.

He had hope.


	6. Two words

Opening his eyes when Master Mace said they could see him, Obi-Wan peered at the council and the healers with a small smile.

Most of them smiled back.

Others quickly got to work since they didn’t want to waste time but Obi-Wan didn’t mind since he knew that they had limited time to examine him.

Ever since that first appearance, Obi-Wan had started gathering more of this ‘cosmic’ Force that he theoretically was using to appear in front of everyone. However it was always limited and seemed to need a cooldown period for lack of better words for each time he used it on about a week to two depending on how much the ghost managed to gather at one time.

Peeking at Mace when the Harun knelt down in front of him with the robe pooling around his legs, Obi-Wan tilted his head curiously.

“Have you thought about Master Rid-Altan’s suggestion Obi-Wan?” Mace began gently.

“The cloned body suggestion?” Obi-Wan asked to be sure of which of the suggestions before shrugging. “I’m not sure, it sounded like it could go really, really bad…” He bit his lower lip hard, sucking on his bottom lip.

“That’s why we’re still researching young one.” One of the healers chirped absently, eyes closed with her hand turned towards Obi-Wan as the togruta was clearly focusing on him with her Force senses. “But it has merits. If we can tie you to a body, you could resume a normal life since you’re now stuck in this half-life between.”

There was a hiss from a duro, a quiet scolding as a few of the master glanced nervously at Obi-Wan.

Blinking a bit, Obi-Wan shrugged when he realized they were worried about upsetting him. “I know I’m stuck in a half life, I’m not upset by Master Dorita’s words masters…” He murmured before focusing back on Mace. “I guess its the best suggestion we have really so far…”

Yoda hummed. “Safest one we can figure out so far yes. Fresh situation this is as we all know, Jedi ghost wandering around stuck we have never encountered before.” He mused.

“What about the ghost in the lower levels?” Obi-Wan blinked, looking up and then jerking a bit when most of the masters seemed to give themselves whiplash in their haste to look at him. “What?”

“There’s… others like you Obi-Wan?” Plo questioned, obviously the idea of others stuck as a ghost horrifying him. The idea of being stuck for who knew how long, not alive yet not dead and not able to really interact with the world around them was really a concept none of them enjoyed.

“Maybe?” The preteen bit his lip hard again. “Sort of? I mean I’m not sure. They scare me. Its the first time I felt cold as a ghost so I ran away from them… I haven’t gone back cause they scared me.”

Slowly hobbling off his chair and towards Obi-Wan to settle down in front of him with Mace. “Scared?” He raised his ears, obviously expecting an explanation since Obi-Wan was still visible.

There was a shrug, Obi-Wan playing with his tunic sleeve while avoiding their eyes. He knew it wasn’t very Jedi like to just run like that, because he knew that he had run with his tail between his legs, not just retreated to plan to return. “Uhu… they scared me. The Force was cold and I got scared and it whispered and laughed at me. Called me um, woyu jidai?”

Busy as he was avoiding their gazes, Obi-Wan didn’t see the alarm that crossed several faces as the council members looked at each other but he did hear their voices when Yoda spoke sharply.

“Certain you are, that this is what they called you? In the lower level they were?” Yoda’s voice was tense and sharp and when Obi-Wan looked up, he meet narrowed eyes and quivering ears.

Blinking a bit, Obi-Wan nodded slowly. “Yuhu. I mean maybe that first word is wrong but jidai. I’m sure of that at least.”

Watching as the Council members exchanged long looks and quiet mutters while the spirit healers still focused on Obi-Wan, the boy wondered what in the world was so important about two words?


	7. Fear lucky

Waiting in anticipation, Obi-Wan rocked back and forth on his heels while watching the council doors with wide eyes.

He was utterly oblivious to the indulgent smiles on the council members faces at his glee, the boy finally getting to see his friends as he hadn’t dared to just appear in front of them and had quietly asked to be able to see his friends one of the days.

Yoda had instantly agreed without anyone else input though the rest of the council had chimed in afterward in agreement that Obi-Wan should see his friends though they were grateful that Obi-Wan had the foresight to not just make himself visible in front of everyone and scare the wit out of people.

So far Obi-Wan’s half dead state was a secret though the healers were approaching a solution soon and the council would be telling the rest of the Order about the project and Obi-Wan’s state.

Well with solution they meant clone body and a transferring ritual that would allow Obi-Wan to once again be alive.

It was a bit… hinky right now, soul tampering wasn’t something Jedi normally did though there had been a lot of whispering about whatever Obi-Wan encountered down in the halls and Yoda had even called his former padawan back to the temple to examine apparently.

Though what the Old Tongue Dooku had spoke of, Obi-Wan had no idea.

Finally the doors opened and Obi-Wan froze beside Yoda, watching with awe as his friends stepped into the council chamber with their masters.

Bant was the first to see him, freezing in the doorway and bringing Garen and Reeft’s attention on him.

“…Obi-Wan?” She whispered before taking a hesitant step forward.

“Hi Bant.” He stuttered out, moving away from the chair and more into the center of the council chamber as all three padawans slowly made their way over to him.

Absently he noted they were all taller than him now but considering they were all four years older than him that wasn’t a surprise.

Bant reached out, her webbed hand going through his shoulder which caused her to hiccup in surprise. “How…”

“Well I’m kind of stuck?” Obi-Wan laughed nervously, blinking when Garen tapped at his cheek only to pass through it too. “Hey! A little warning Gar!”

Garen gave a shocked sound before laughing shakily. “Obi-Wan!”

()()()

“So its certain.” Mace said grimly.

Nodding at that, Yan crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes, there is a Sith presence beneath just as young Kenobi said and felt. Its been there a long time, its powerful even if it doesn’t reach all the way up though its starting to.” He rubbed his chin slowly.

Yoda hurmed deeply. “Distressing this is. To do we are?”

“We could isolate the area. But we need to find it first and I fear that to find it we will need to utilize young Kenobi.” Yan said severely. “I tried but its… elusive. Tampering and manipulative yes but elusive in wanting to be found or followed.”

Leaning forward, Adi frowned at him. “Do you suspect it tried to corrupt young Kenobi?” She questioned with worry.

“Its certainly a thought. It does not seem to be able to leave the lower part of the temple however Kenobi can, he has range of the temple. If it could corrupt a young spirit like him and send him around with the Sith influence…” Yan trailed off.

“There’s no telling how it could corrupt our youngest members.” Plo finished grimly.

All of them quietly contemplated the luck of Obi-Wan’s fear sending him to the tower and to meditate.


	8. Here for me

Peering nervously around the hall, Obi-Wan looked back at the master’s who had followed him. “I’m not sure what way to go… I generally just walked around last time I was here.” He offered quietly.

Moving over to him on swift steps, Master Plo gave him the kel dor version of a smile as Obi-Wan had come to learn and nodded to him. “And we do not blame you young one for that. Just walk whichever way you think is best and we will follow and mark off where we have been. We’ll take as long as we need to.” He soothed patiently.

It didn’t look to Obi-Wan like Master Dooku liked that idea but there wasn’t really many options left since Obi-Wan was apparently the only one that could find this illusive spirit living in the bowels of the temple.

And Obi-Wan’s spirit body was only visible for a few hours at a time with the nicknamed cooldown period between of all from one to two weeks.

So Obi-Wan had to take it in his own pace with the masters following him around and making note of where they had been on an old map that had been transferred onto all of their consoles.

Well all but Obi-Wan but he didn’t have a physical body and Mace Windu was quick to let him peek at the map if he was curious, the Korun smiling gently down at him each time while holding out his arm and pointing out where they were in regards to the entire map.

The first day Obi-Wan only felt a bit cold but not the same kind of numbing fear as he had before that had sent him running up to the council chamber to hide which was as far from the halls as he could get at the time.

He told them as much, that all he felt was a bit cold but no fear.

The speculation was that the spirit was hiding but Obi-Wan didn’t think so, if this really was a Sith as he had been warned off then he suspected it was lurking, waiting for a chance.

And hadn’t that frightened him almost to the point of tears to realize he could have been Sith bait?

Woyu Jidai meant little Jedi from what Dooku had pieced together and Obi-Wan was inclined to believe him.

The taunting voice made sense.

They found nothing that first day and the rest of the search was called off as Obi-Wan faded from sight though Mace quietly invited him to follow to his quarters if he wanted, the Korun speaking softly to him even if he couldn’t respond the rest of the night.

It was nice.

It felt like spending time with someone even if he couldn’t respond to them.

The council master’s had all taken to doing that for him, sharing their space with him if possible and letting him have company.

So far Obi-Wan enjoyed Mace Windu, Plo Koon and Yoda’s company the best since all three spoke to him and none of them forgot that he was there. They even wished him goodnight!

It was nice.

It almost felt like being alive again and Obi-Wan hoped…

Well maybe the cloned body could work?

And maybe, just maybe…

He’d have a master waiting on him if it did?

Maybe, Obi-Wan could hope since he had little else left.


	9. I'll take him

“You look worried.” Mace glanced over at Adi, stirring blue milk into his caff. Plo and Sifo-Dyas pretended not to be listening too closely but were obvious as they were slowly sipping their tea while Jocasta wasn’t even hiding her interest, looking right at Mace with a raised brow.

Closing his eyes for a second to reach out with the Force, Mace made certain that Obi-Wan was not in his quarters as he had become well attuned to the ghost boy in the Force when he was around before sighing deeply and nodding. “I am. Have any of you noticed that Obi-Wan is getting… fainter?” He questioned.

At that Sifo-Dyas frowned deeply, looking at Mace too. “Fainter?”

Shrugging a bit, Mace sighed. “He feels fainter, his colors are going off, each time he appears there seems to be a little less of him even if his personality is still there and shining.” He finally took a sip of his caff to still the ramble in his mind and stop himself from worrying too loudly.

Adi however was frowning deeply while exchanging troubled looks with Sifo-Dyas while Plo was rubbing his chin slowly with one hand and Mace could see he was actually worried.

It was Jocasta who spoke though. “What are you thinking Mace? Are you implying that Obi-Wan is disappearing?” She questioned, a bit sharply.

Settling his cup down on the caff table, Mace leaned his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. “I think that we do not have as much time as we hope to get him into a body. I think that he is fading into the Force because he’s utilizing it to appear in front of us.” Mace bit his lip. “He’s going to fade fully and I worry that he is not going into the Force but just fade away.”

Sitting back, Jocasta bit at her nails a bit before nodding. “I can see where the thought comes from. It is a valid concern with his state of being and… more than one soul healer has expressed similar concerns actually.” She added quietly.

Shooting her a sharp look, Sifo-Dyas frowned at her. “I have not heard this.” He grunted out.

Waving her hand, Jocasta shot him just as sharp a look. “I was helping the healers, hopeful for something in the archives or holocrons to help Obi-Wan but I have found nothing. They are growing desperate and Obi-Wan is growing weaker. This they are sure of.”

Covering his face with his hands at the confirmation of his suspicions, Mace took a deep breath, feeling like a wound was opening in his chest.

He had just contented himself with the idea of a new padawan. Just come to terms with the idea of Obi-Wan sharing his quarters for years as Depa once had and now it looked like it may not come to terms anyhow.

That Obi-Wan would not even go into the Force but fade away entirely and leave no residue left at all.

And Mace was honest with himself if no one else, that frightened him. “We can’t just let him fade away. He’s just a boy.” He rumbled into his hands.

Adi made a low, sympathetic noise. “There may not be anything we can do Mace. The healers still have not perfected a process to transfer Obi-Wan into the cloned body. The body may be done, but the ritual…” She let it hang.

Each master contemplated quietly the horror of Obi-Wan not even fading into the Force, stuck as he was now between the living and the dead had been inhumane enough but the idea of that young soul just fading out of existence… that was too terrifying to contemplate almost.

“I may have an idea.” Plo murmured suddenly, tapping his chin slowly with a furrow between his brows.

Looking up from his hands, Mace stared at the kel dor hopefully.

“It would be a long shot, I’m not even sure its possible with Obi-Wan in his current condition but it may be enough to hold him in place so he does not fade until a solution can be found.” Plo continued.

“We don’t have time to go in circles Plo, if Obi-Wan indeed is fading, then we must do what we can.” Jocasta said firmly.

Nodding, Plo sat up on Mace couch. “If he were to find a master now and they can initiate a padawan bond, it may be enough to keep him grounded in life until the healers can transfer him safely into a body. But the question is if Obi-Wan can carry a bond in his current condition.” Plo looked around. “And to find a master willing to take him with the risk of losing him.” He added when Adi opened her mouth.

It shut with a sharp click.

“I would take him.” Mace rumbled, the others looking at him quickly. “I would take Obi-Wan as my padawan learner, he needs a chance. I would give him it and lend him my strength and balance and I would keep him when he regains a body.” He added.

Smiling a bit, Jocasta nodded. “I assumed as much.” She murmured. “Yan owes me fifty credits.” She tacked on with a smirk.

Snorting, Mace sat back in his chair, picking up his caff again. “Now comes the question if Obi-Wan wants me as his master… and if he _can_ carry a bond.”

The five exchanged grim looks of dread.

What if Obi-Wan couldn’t?


	10. Aches and hurts

Everything ached and hurt in a way Obi-Wan couldn’t quite understand as he laid on the floor with a shaking body, feeling as if he had been pulled yet pushed at the same time somehow.

Eyes closed, Obi-Wan continued to take as deep breaths as possible to calm himself even if he no longer really needed oxygen but his body and mind worked on automatic. It still took him several moments to realize there was a large hand carding through his hair slowly and steadily.

That made him stop breathing.

He hadn’t been touched so gently in so long…

Not since long before Bandomeer when Bant had tearfully hugged him.

“Obi-Wan? Can you open your eyes?” A deep voice questioned.

“Dun wanna.” Obi-Wan rasped out.

There was a quiet chuckle, the hand still carding through his hair as someone knocked on his fragile mental shields that he had thinned to form a padawan bond with earlier. “Come now padawan, its time to face the world and my knees are not that young. I’ve been on them for quite some time.” The voice murmured.

Slowly Obi-Wan opened his eyes, feeling chastised even as he smiled up at Mace Windu for the simple reason of getting called padawan. It brought a warmth and glow to his chest that he never thought he’d get to experience but that he had jumped on the moment Windu had offered him it with all the uncertainties of his spiritual body managing to even maintain such a bond.

But he had managed even if he must have passed out some.

And there were side effects that were clear bonuses to him as he laid there with his head in Mace lap, the man’s hand still carding slowly through his hair as the healers and council members quietly conversed around them in the ritual hall that had been chosen since none of them were sure what was going to happen with Mace and Obi-Wan trying to connect a bond.

Mace could touch him.

The Korun could carefully touch him as he was slowly petting the ghost boy that was now his padawan.

Hiccuping a bit as that realization sunk further in, Obi-Wan twisted around and pushed himself up to throw his arms around the Koruns neck and push his face into his shoulder, giving a great sob. He couldn’t bring himself to care that he had obviously fainted and that everyone had seen it and he couldn’t bring himself to care that everyone could now see him sobbing into his new master’s shoulder.

Someone could touch him.

Hold him.

It was almost too much, the sensation of warmth and firmness he hadn’t had in years when all he had encountered was the cold or even the ice in his lungs when he had almost been ensnared by the Sith spirit they were still hunting for.

Warm arms wrapped around him in return, cupping the back of his head as Mace rocked back and forth with the body in his arms. “Oh I know, I know little one. Oh its alright, I have you, its alright, just let it go.” He murmured quietly, shifting Obi-Wan slowly as he stood carefully.

He hadn’t been joking about his knees and they cracked mightily as he stood with the boy tucked to his chest but Mace couldn’t bring himself to begrudge Obi-Wan the need to cling to him.

He could literally feel the crumbling of sanity inside of the other not to mention the overwhelming need as a great flood was unleashed on his shoulder.

Depa came over slowly from where she had been speaking to soul healer Carly, carefully reaching out to touch but her fingers passed through Obi-Wan’s head without impact. Her face fell and she peered at Mace who quickly shook his head a bit while shifting Obi-Wan more into his arms.

It was their bond that was allowing Mace this but that didn’t mean that others would be able to.

They would have to wait on the cloned body but at least this meant that they had bought more time.

Obi-Wan would not fade away today as long as Mace had anything to say.

And he had a karking lot to say about it as the ghost boy in his arms sobbed and clung to him for relief.


	11. OBI-WAN!!!

Settled down on his feet by the bigger Jedi, Obi-Wan smiled up at Mace and got one in return as his master gently ruffled his hair before the councilor’s face went blank as he opened the door of their quarters and stepped out to go meet with the rest of the search team for the catacombs beneath the main temple.

A lot had changed in little time for Obi-Wan.

Mace had moved to a room with two bedrooms instead of his councilor granted suite, to prepare for when Obi-Wan could be transferred into the cloned body. And that part was still creepy as Obi-Wan had seen his own body floating in a gel tube, the thing in stasis so it would not age beyond Obi-Wan’s current age.

He’d also come to know Mace more and the man in private was different than the councilor most meet.

As the Grandmaster of the order, Mace had a certain image to project, a certain attitude to hold as he was responsible for so much more.

But in private he was warm to those he considered friends and linage, especially to Obi-Wan who was touch starved and in need. Often the master would pick Obi-Wan up and carry him around on his hip as he made his own dinner, holding the ghost boy close to him while speaking to Obi-Wan about all the things he could feed the boy once he had a body and an appetite.

And he had no trouble with Obi-Wan crawling in under his arm on the couch while reading, often petting Obi-Wan’s hair gently and playing with the longer strands or picking out the area that would make Obi-Wan’s braid beneath his ear.

Quickly the two walked off to the meeting spot to encounter the rest of the group, Mace exchanging words with them before they entered the elevator that would bring them down, Obi-Wan leaning into Mace side as Master Dooku peered down at him curiously.

“I see congratulations are in order?” The gray haired master finally offered, raising one bushy brow to Mace.

Mace let a small smile cross his face and pressed his hand to Obi-Wan’s head to the surprise of the rest of the team as instead of going through the others hair, Mace fingers disturbed the red hair. “Indeed Master Dooku, Obi-Wan accepted my offer and this provides him with more time in visibility to all so we can use more time… it also provides _me_ with the ability to touch him.” He added quietly when one of the masters tried to tap Obi-Wan on the shoulder.

Nodding slowly, Dooku gave a low hum. “A bonus to a padawan bond I would assume… fascinating.” He concluded, rubbing his chin before they all broke out of their thoughts as the elevator stopped and the door opened.

Quietly they all slid into the halls with the master’s turning on the light fixtures on their belts and a few of them pulled their sabers off their belt but didn’t ignite them.

Obi-Wan wasn’t quite sure it would help against a spirit anyhow.

Mace pulled his map out, showing Obi-Wan it with a low rumble. “Now, where do you think we should go today? The red ones are as usual the ones we have gone to, the blue is where the hallways were blocked by rubble and the black is uncharted territory as usual.”

Looking over the map, Obi-Wan frowned a bit before tapping the red area they had been in the last week. “I’m not sure but that part still looked familiar to me. But since I was walking through walls and it was dark at the time, I’m not really sure Master.” He looked up.

“Then we return to the Easter hallway.” Mace rumbled, settling his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder as they all started moving, following the map as they now knew where to go. A few of the masters talked quietly among themselves about the decorations on the walls or in the halls while Obi-Wan noted Dooku studying everything intently.

Mace meanwhile kept a gentle grasp on Obi-Wan, rubbing gently at his shoulder with his thumb as he provided a steady warmth and affection to the young boy through their bond.

Sending a small smile up at his master, Obi-Wan broke from the touch to go a bit further ahead when they reached the right hallway, looking around with a small frown while rubbing the tip of his nose. “This does look familiar.” He hesitated before turning to Mace, opening his mouth only to snap it shut when he took note of an icy cloud leaving his mouth.

Horror laced his stomach as he snapped his head up at the other Jedi with a pale face of terror. “Maste-”

Darkness descended on them and all of them gave shocked cry except Obi-Wan who screamed.

And as quickly as the darkness had descended, it disappeared, taking one lone ghost boy with it.

“OBI-WAN!” The cry echoed the hall, Mace voice fading away to utter silence.

Obi-Wan was gone.


	12. Scared in the dark

Breath sharp in his lungs, Mace forced all his muscles to relax from their clenched position, feeling the headache he had from gritting his jaw ease a tiny bit as he continued flickering his eyes towards the dark, desperate to see a small shape.

Behind him the other Jedi were talking rapidly even as Mace continued to scan or his padawan, reaching for the bond where Obi-Wan was no longer responding even as he could tell it was still active.

He almost flinched out of surprise however when Dooku of all people rested a hand on his shoulder, face serious. “We will find him. We won’t leave him to the mercy of a spirit.” He murmured in his distinct accent.

“…He’s just a frightened boy.” Mace returned quietly. “We can’t allow him to become a pawn of a Sith spirit.”

At that Dooku hesitated, glancing towards the dark before looking back at Mace with pity in his eyes. “We may not have a choice if it has corrupted the boy. If young Kenobi has not stood strong…” The salt and pepper haired man trailed off even as the conversations behind them went silent.

Mace swallowed thickly.

If Obi-Wan had not managed to resist the Sith, they would be forced to banish Obi-Wan along with the Sith.

And that could potentially be a terrible thing because Mace was uncertain if he could cut the bond between himself and Obi-Wan.

Finally he shook his head. “Obi-Wan has stayed strong for years, trapped in a half life where he was forced to witness his friends grow while he remained the same, cut off from people. He will remain strong now too.” He said, as much for his own benefit as for the others.

“We will need to be quick.” Plo intervened between the two, his voice calm. “If the Sith has laid in wait, I suspect we are near where its lair is located, where its powers would be strongest.” He explained and it made a horrid sort of sense.

If this Sith was intent on using Obi-Wan in some manner, they would need power even for a little boy spirit.

“Then we search.” Mace grunted, pulling his saber from his belt for light as he stepped into the dark hallway, eyes narrowed as he searched for Obi-Wan with their bond while releasing his fear and worry.

He’d find his little padawan, he’d get him back safe and into a body and then Obi-Wan ass would karking hell be grounded until Mace was sure the boy felt safe and healthy.

‘Hold on Obi-Wan, I’m coming for you, I’m not going to leave you alone in the dark again.’ Mace sent along their bond in a vain hope the other could hear it.

()()()

It was so cold, his entire being felt frozen where he laid on the floor in the darkness.

Every expulsion of air was like ice making its way out of his lungs, tearing up fragile flesh that Obi-Wan just wasn’t anymore.

Yet it still hurt.

His eyes watered with the pain and he let out a sob that hurt just as much as breathing did.

And the whispers around him never stopped, mocking, cruel and terribly beguiling at the same time as the voices seemed to claw at Obi-Wan’s shields to get him to lower them, lowering them would end the pain.

And it was voices, not a voice.

Flickering his eyes in the darkness, he found nothing to see and curled himself into a smaller ball with a tortured whimper as the voices grew in volume, angry and delighted at the same time at his continued resistance.

His continued pain and misery.

Obi-Wan just wanted to leave, be back in the sun, racing beside Mace side…

“Missing your master little jidai?” A sibilant voice suddenly hissed, all to close to Obi-Wan’s ear and it made him jerk, crying out in shock at sudden cold and pain spasming in his very core. It made the voice laugh however, a cruel mocking tone. “Don’t worry, you’ll see him soon enough. When we use you to destroy him.” The voice leered.

“Noooo.” Obi-Wan moaned piteously, wrapping his arms around his head while gagging, wondering in a bout of insanity if ghosts could throw up as the voice continued to laugh and taunt him.

Obi-Wan wanted the sun and Mace. He just wanted to go back up.


	13. Still with us?

Feeling like he couldn’t breath, as if he was sinking down into a pond of cold tar with his eyes closed, Obi-Wan spasmed a bit while hiccuping for the air he didn’t need, the whispers overwhelming in his ears and blocking out any other noise that could potentially reach him.

Therefor he did not hear when the door suddenly slammed into the wall after being cut through via two lightsabers.

And Obi-Wan certainly didn’t feel the light as Mace came in with an enraged cry, pulling the light deep inside to the loud hissing of a wrathful spirit that tried to cling onto Obi-Wan.

He did however feel it when he was suddenly lifted into warm arms and tucked to a chest, letting out a whimper of confusion. “No, hurts.” He slurred out, stuttering the words even as he was pulled tighter to the chest of whoever was holding him.

He could hear someone speaking but couldn’t get his mind wrapped around the words even as he managed to Force his eyes open, gaze falling on Master Dooku and two of the knights who had been with the group trying to find the dark spirit, all of them seemingly holding up a shimmering white wall that a black shape was consistently ramming against.

A hand curled around his chin however and pulled his gaze away to meet Mace Windu’s dark eyes as the light of the flashing barrier made streaks across his face that made the Councilor look even older than he was.

It was his master who had him.

That concept took a long time to sink in and when it did, Obi-Wan could feel tears drip down his face to leak into his ears with the way he was positioned before he slowly managed to press his face to the others tunic, letting out a sensitive whimper yet not asking to be let go of the tight hold Mace had on him.

And then he could feel the world shift as Mace started walking, carrying him away from the battle with quick steps as Obi-Wan closes his eyes again and lets the world fade away because he’s just so tired and no one is whispering in his ears anymore.

Oh he might actually throw up with how the world was shifting.

But could ghosts even throw up really?

He wasn’t sure about that and he had no desire to learn if he could.

So he let his consciousness fade away, held safely in Mace arms as the man rushed through the dark catacombs of the old Jedi temple, far away from the Sith who had captured Obi-Wan and held him contained for who knows how long.

How long he was passed out for Obi-Wan wasn’t sure but when he woke up again he was just as sensitive but he was cradled between two legs as he was carefully held towards a warm chest with a hand resting on his forehead.

There was a healer standing at the foot of the bed, watching closely and when the zabrak saw Obi-Wan’s eyes were open, she breathed out in relief. “You can stop now Master Windu, his eyes are open.” She coaxed.

Obi-Wan felt the hand on his forehead twitch before it went to gently carding through his hair as he was shifted enough to look up at Mace, his master sporting a look of utter relief. “You still with us Obi-Wan?” The master questioned quietly.

It was still grating on Obi-Wan’s head but then again all his nerves felt like they had been rubbed with sand paper.

Instead of verbally responding he nodded meekly and tucked his face into the mans chest with a soft little whimper.

“He’s most likely in a very sore state and may require a few days to collect himself.” Obi-Wan heard the healer speak. “Though since this is my first spirit patient I’m not sure how correct my theory is. However he does seem to be very sensitive to all inputs he is exposed to.”

Obi-Wan very much wished that she would shut up even though she was trying to be helpful.

“I see. I’ll look after him then.” Mace rumbled, his large, warm hand tucking against Obi-Wan’s stomach to pull him back and tilt his head onto the master’s chest in a better position. “Since I’m the only one who can physically touch him yet.”

There was some more talking over his head and Obi-Wan wished someone could put earmuffs on him before finally blessed quiet filled the room as the healer left and Mace just carefully held Obi-Wan to him in a reclined position against his chest, sitting on the medic bed.

Maybe he was going to be alright after all?

‘It be nice to be okay again.’ Obi-Wan thought hazily.


	14. Fading away

Letting out a soft noise as Mace carried him through the halls, Obi-Wan blinked blearily at the healers and apprentices rushing around with their own tasks. “Master?” He questioned softly. “There’s something I’ve been wondering for a while…”

Obi-Wan hadn’t dared to ask this earlier but he figured that after the little showdown with the ancient Sith spirit down in the bowels of the temple that his master would be lenient enough to at least not be upset about the question. After all, since he woke up Mace hadn’t even put Obi-Wan down even to eat and the man was starting to need a shower not that Obi-Wan was about to complain too much since he was feeling weak as a kitten and needed the other to help him.

The arms tightened around him in response. “Yes Obi-Wan?” Mace rumbled out.

Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan licked his lips nervously. “Isn’t cloning illegal in the Republic?” He finally ventured.

That stopped Mace in his tracks and then he let out a deep sigh. “Yes. Yes it is. What we are currently doing is illegal by the laws of the Republic… if they learn of it.” He peered down at Obi-Wan shifting the boy carefully until he was resting on Mace hip instead, head carefully settled against his chest since Obi-Wan honestly had no energy for anything.

Peering back tiredly, Obi-Wan frowned. “So… we’re doing something illegal…”

“What the Republic doesn’t know, won’t harm them. Officially we are cloning organs for you as far as they know, reality is that we cloned you a body out from the blood sample in our archives that we still had.” Mace explained as he started walking again. “And we need to take that chance now, you’re too weak for us to delay anymore thanks to the Sith draining you. You can barely even keep yourself upright on your own and if we delay anymore…” The Korun let out a deep breath.

Nodding weakly into the others chest, Obi-Wan went mute again. “…How are they going to do it?” He asked quietly.

“No idea. I’m not allowed in the room.” Mace rumbled as he went into the less used areas of the Halls towards the ritual rooms only healers used. “I have to wait outside.” He tightened his grasp around the other, free hand stroking over his padawan’s red hair. “But you’ll feel me the entire time, I’ll keep our bond open.” Mace assured quietly.

“…Oh.” Obi-Wan swallowed heavily, hands clenching into the fabric of the mans tunic as he tried not to let fear eat him up.

He still ended up having a minor panic attack when it was time to separate from Mace, whimpering a bit as he stared at his own cloned body resting on a gurney and a second one for his ghost self.

“Its going to be alright Obi-Wan, I’ll keep the bond wide open.” Mace whispered, settling him gently down. “And then its right home to our quarters.” He added as green eyes looked around in panic with rushed breath reaching them all.

“Promise?” Obi-Wan whispered, focusing up on him with wide eyes begging for reassurance as he clung to their wide open bond.

“I promise.” Mace leaned in, pressing an affectionate kiss to the boys forehead before slowly pulling back, giving the mix of healers from all branches long looks before retreating and letting the door close behind him.

Tilting his head slowly towards the healers, Obi-Wan let out a soft noise as they gave him gentle smiles in return. “Is this going to work?” He asked softly, hands clenched into the tunic around his stomach area.

“We don’t know.” One murmured softly. “But we are out of time padawan Kenobi. You will fade away and where you go no one knows because you are stuck in a manner unlike anything else.” She reached out to touch him only to fade through his skin.

Only Mace could touch him right now because of the bond they had.

Swallowing heavily, Obi-Wan nodded in understanding. “You’re hoping if I do die, I’ll be in the clone body at least so I die properly… don’t you?”

The healers exchanged mournful looks before finally a twi’lek nodded and Obi-Wan let out a deep breath.

“… Okay … okay.” He whispered to himself, closing his eyes as the room began to dim. ‘…I don’t want to die.’


	15. A wide galaxy

Settling his hands into his lap, Mace stared at his folded hands in his lap.

It been hours and no noise from the other side of the door.

Obi-Wan’s side of the bond had gone highwire with fright, hope that waned, pain and than… darkness of the unconscious.

And since then there had been only silence even as a weary Plo Koon had come seeking Mace to tell him about the spirit in their catacombs. Apparently when the Jedi temple was being built, they hadn’t cleaned out all the Sith influence, a piece of the monastery had remained entombed down there and it was just enough for some influence to remain.

Through the decades it grew in power, grew with the removal of Jedi who no longer used the basement and therefor allowed darkness to once more fill its halls.

And they’d have no idea if it wasn’t for Obi-Wan.

Sighing tiredly, Mace let his face drop into his hands.

He wasn’t sure what to feel about that.

On one hand it explained why the sight of Jedi on Coruscant was so obscured, it had been put down to it being a dead planet before, and cleared when they came off planet though several Jedi were already reporting they ‘saw’ and meditated better.

Yet on the other hand Mace could not help but feel selfishly worried about the boy in the other room who had become drained and close to fading away thanks to the entire business.

There was a clicking noise and Mace raised his head to look down the hall, watching Yoda make his way to the row of chairs in silence.

The grandmaster pulled himself onto the seat and looked at the door before looking at Mace. “No news?” He croaked.

Shaking his head, Mace sighed. “None, its been hours and Obi-Wan is unconscious so he can’t answer me either. But the bond is still active.” He said quietly.

“So wait we must.” Yoda sighed deeply, ears falling.

It reminded Mace that Yoda had carried the guilt of Obi-Wan’s death for many years now and slowly he shifted one hand to rest on the grandmaster’s back, offering silent support.

Neither sleep nor moves, even as both can tell that night has gone and day begun as they hold their silent vigil outside the closed door.

And then…

The door opens and Healer Urnia stands there, a body in his arms as he smiles at both Yoda and Mace.

Mace feels his breath in his lungs, he can see blood beyond the doors in the ritual circle and two empty beds.

But Obi-Wan is clean, his chest rises and falls and eyelids flutter as he dreams.

He doesn’t need to really hear it as he stands and accepts the precious bundle into his own and yet Urnia says it. “It worked. Padawan Kenobi is finally reunited in a body of flesh and blood.”

“Thank the Force.” Mace mumbled, holding the all to small bundle tightly to him as Obi-Wan truly should be eighteen years old and not twelve.

But he’ll take what they have after so many years of knowing that the boy has been locked in a phase between life and death and almost faded away to nothing. He’ll take this warmth in his arms and when he looks down beside him to smile at Yoda, he knows so will the Grandmaster.

For Obi-Wan can finally live.

And when his eyes open two hours later to look at Mace, its clear he’s ready to live by the smile on his face.

Obi-Wan is ready for the galaxy once more.


	16. Sensation of the galaxy

“Slow down Obi-Wan, you’re going to choke.” Mace chuckled quietly to show he wasn’t upset at the boy, resting his hand on the others head as he looked up with wide blue eyes, his cheeks stuffed full as if he was a hamster with cheek pouches to store his food to take to his den. “The food isn’t going anywhere.” He promised quietly.

Coloring a bit, Obi-Wan chewed carefully and swallowed, giving Mace a sheepish look. “I’m sorry. I missed…” He trailed off and just leaned into Mace hand instead, eyes closing as he clenched his hand on his fork.

Stroking the others hair slowly, Mace smiled sadly down at his little padawan. He could imagine there was a lot of things the other had missed.

The warmth of a blanket around him, the sensation of soft cotton against skin, warm water, the sensation of a full belly, flavor on his tongue with food…

Rubbing his fingers through the hair until he could catch the braid behind Obi-Wan’s ear, Mace gave it a little tug which prompted the boy to open his eyes. “How about I make you a cup of tea, you finish eating and then we meditate together hmm?” He suggested with a small smile.

Nodding eagerly, Obi-Wan turned back to his food.

At least that was something Mace would not have to worry about, Obi-Wan had a healthy appetite. The healers had worried that after so many years stuck in a spirit form, Obi-Wan would no longer recognize the signals of his own body in regards to hunger, pain, exhaustion or sleep.

Luckily that had proven to not be the case as a few small tests had conducted and Mace careful observation throughout the first two days.

A little needle test had also confirmed that Obi-Wan had full reaction to pain and the association to try and get away from it.

Using his electric kettle to get the right temperature, Mace reached into his shelf for tea and settled on the spicy Haruun tea he himself favored. See if Obi-Wan could be convinced to like it as Depa never had managed to get around the earthy after flavor it left.

To each their own of course.

Focusing on the tea, Mace half observed Obi-Wan in the glass panel of his cabinet, smiling slightly to himself as Obi-Wan had indeed slowed down his eating and was seemingly savoring the sensation of eating.

Crunchy toasted bread, soft fluffy omelet with salted protein chunks, sliced apples and a sweet muffin that Obi-Wan had yet to touch as he kept sending it excited glances between bites. ‘Saving it for the tea or saving it as the last bite.’ Mace assumed as he measured up the tea and poured in into the pot before following it with the boiled water.

The smell of spice instantly hit Mace nose, the fragrance sharp and honestly sinus clearing.

He heard Obi-Wan let out a soft noise and turned, smiling at the teen who was staring at him with wide eyes. “Yes?” He encouraged the light of curiosity in his padawan’s eyes.

“What kind of tea is that?” Obi-Wan shuffled his plate aside, pulling the muffing towards him.

Picking up the pot and moving it to the table, Mace rumbled in amusement. “A special blend from Haruun Kal, my own home planet actually. Its my favorite.” He explained quietly as he also fetched the matching pale green cups that went with the pot.

“Does it taste as good as it smells?” Came an excited question as he sat down.

Humming a bit, Mace settled his elbows on the table as he peered at the boy. “Yes, it has a very similar taste to its smell but it has an earthy after flavor you may not like, Force knows my former padawan never acquired the taste for it,” He confessed easily as he tapped the pot lid. “The trick is to not let it brew to long as it may turn into a soap like flavor in your mouth and turns brown like mud instead of a sunset yellow its suppose to be.” He winked.

Tilting his head, Obi-Wan glanced between the pot and Mace. “How do you know its done without looking in the pot?” He was unwrapping his muffin.

Taking a deep breath, Mace smirked. “You don’t. You take a chance and if you’re lucky…” He picked up the pot and poured out the two cups it contained, chuckling at the vibrant yellow of it. “It turns just right.” He said with satisfaction as he pushed one cup closer to Obi-Wan.

Watching as the boy picked up the cup with one hand and the muffin with the other, Mace figured it didn’t matter if Obi-Wan liked it or not, not really.

Just as long as he was there to share future cups with Mace and Depa.

Still, that happy hum once Obi-Wan had taken a sip of it wasn’t bad either as Mace sipped from his own cup, master and padawan sharing the first of many cups of Haruun special blend tea.  


	17. A new friend

Looking up in surprise when the elevator door chimed from his slightly elevated position in the windowsill, Obi-Wan blinked in confusion as Quinlan and Master Qui-Gon entered the entrance area for the council chamber. Even more confusing was the young boy right behind them that had fisted his hand into oldest Jedi master robe, clearly uncertain and maybe a bit scared.

“Hey there shrimp,” Quinlan said cheerfully, coming over to give Obi-Wan a fist bump with a wide grin. So far Quinlan had been the one to adjust the best to Obi-Wan’s situation, being a young boy compared to those who had once been his age mates. “You waiting on your master?”

Humming a bit, Obi-Wan nodded while lifting his pad. “Master Mace said there was a late meeting and that he’d be stuck for a while so I should bring my homework.” He rubbed the back of his neck, bowing his head to Qui-Gon in greeting even if he was confused about the situation.

Especially since Mace had wanted him with.

Generally his master just told him to go sleep if a meeting was going to stretch on.

“Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon settled a hand on the blond boy’s shoulder, pulling him forward so Obi-Wan could properly see him. He was young, maybe around ten so just a two years younger than Obi-Wan most likely, wearing rough homespun clothes that had clearly seen better days and Obi-Wan would guess that his family was in the poorer section of the world. “This is Anakin.” He murmured.

‘Potentially from a world with very little resources for the lower classes.’ He mused even as he bowed his head to Anakin. “I’d get up to greet you properly but I’m not allowed to move about, I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Obi-Wan told the other boy with a small smile.

“I’m Anakin Skywalker!” The blond said gleefully before scrunching up his nose. “You’re not allowed to move?” He asked with confusion and something that sounded like burgeoning fear.

“What did you do now Obi-Wan?” Quinlan questioned suspiciously before taking note of the hoverchair standing by the council doors. “…Obi-Wan why is there a hoverchair in the room.” He asked slowly.

Smiling sheepishly, Obi-Wan scratched the back of his head. “I haven’t tried climbing the temple tower of First Knowledge nor did I fall off said tower if that’s what you’re thinking. And Master Mace isn’t showing me the consequences of my actions and punishing me by depriving me of my only opportunity to move around so I have to call him every time I want to move at the current moment.” He said, his tone so sheepish it made it obvious that it was exactly what he had done.

Quinlan and Qui-Gon exchanged gazes of shock while Anakin stared at him in awe, obviously having seen the towers of the temple.

“And I don’t also have quarter arrest and I’m only here because I think Master Mace wants me to make sure Anakin here isn’t alone while you two are in there.” Obi-Wan added, guessing what the master of the order was up to.

He may be wrong but hey, Mace was a fan of diverse punishments though depending on what kind of person Anakin was, Obi-Wan might make a friend his own age if he was lucky as he held out his pad. “Wanna see what I’m doing for navigational tech calculation?” Obi-Wan offered.

Anakin blinked at the pad then quickly crawled in beside him. “Question four is wrong, you’re off by eight clicks.” He pointed out quickly.

Blinking in surprise, Obi-Wan put the pad to his lap and looked over his results again. “…Oh kark you’re right!” He groaned, knowing he’d have to go through the entire thing.

Both kids had firmly forgotten the adults as Quinlan turned to Qui-Gon. “Am I or you telling Windu that his padawan is cursing?” He whispered.

“Mace has no defense. He curses like a drunk deep rim pirate when he’s not pretending to be a Jedi ‘master’ as he says.” Qui-Gon chuckled quietly, having heard a lot worse from the mouth of Mace.

 

 


	18. We live with the decisions

Standing beside his padawan, Mace crossed his arms over his chest slowly as he watched Jinn and Skywalker leave. “…Well, what do you think?” He murmured quietly.

Obi-Wan tapped his fingers on his pad, lips pursed. “Anakin is very smart. But he’s scared for his mom,” Obi-Wan looked up at his master, meeting his gaze. “Did any of them mention that his mother is a slave?”

Mace started a bit, blinking sharply before breathing out heavily. ‘Qui-Gon you old fool…’ It was of course an emergency, bringing Anakin to the temple might have been the only thing he could have done but once there he should have told the council. Of course the boy would be scared for his mother in such a situation and Mace pinched the bridge of his nose as he counted to ten inwardly.

It was not something he had needed to do while he had Depa.

But Obi-Wan?

Well yes Mace had been counting quite a bit to keep his temper.

Mostly because Obi-Wan sometimes forgot he was no more a ghost and couldn’t sit on top of towers anymore!

A bashful grin crossed his padawan’s face and Mace smirked down at him. ‘Heard that did you?’

Obi-Wan shrugged. “You don’t close the bond on me, you like keeping an eye on me… and I like knowing you’re there.” He admitted softly as he fiddled with the hem of his tunic.

Honestly?

Mace preferred keeping his bond to Obi-Wan at least partially open to keep a tab on him, Obi-Wan occasionally forgot necessary things now that he was no longer a ghost and adjusting was slow.

Fourteen years as a ghost could do that to you.

“Going back to the subject at hand however,” Obi-Wan shook himself, bringing Mace attention back to him. “I might not remember the caves where I died much anymore but I remember the fear and pain I experienced under the hands of slavers… if we can do something we should, or Anakin will never be able to join the temple and let go of his anxiety.” He stated quietly.

Musing on that, Mace rubbed his chin even as he mourned the adult articulation Obi-Wan delivered his words. He shouldn’t be this mature sounding, not yet, he should be childish and come with fanciful solutions.

But Obi-Wan had died under slaver hands after being bullied and sent away from the temple, kids in these situations grew too fast even stuck in ghost forms.

“Are you seriously contemplating your padawan’s suggestion Mace?” Evan drawled behind them as he slowly made his way over, glaring between them. “His mother sent him he-”

“Anakin is a child,” Obi-Wan cut in without thought, his confidence in the face of the council having grown since becoming Mace padawan as he peered dully at Evan. “Just like I am a child. We don’t make the decisions, our caretakers do. But we do have to live with those decisions. That’s why I died in the first place.” Obi-Wan pointed out.

‘Well… that’s an awkward silence.’ Mace mused even as Evan stared at Obi-Wan and someone behind them in the council chamber coughed. “…What do you suggest Obi-Wan? You know the Senate has regulations about Hutt spaced slavery and our intervention in it.” Mace murmured quietly.

Obi-Wan frowned but nodded. “I would suggest speaking with Master Jinn about where Shmi Skywalker is located on Tatooine, Anakin made it sound like his former owner was fond of them,” Obi-Wan said, a note of distaste in his voice. “From there I would suggest buying her free though Republican credits are of no use on Hutt worlds so maybe some kind of trade, bring something valuable from the temple… after that? Alderaan has a good outreach program for slaves.” He looked up at Mace again, blinking slowly as if he hadn’t just outlined buying a slave basically and freeing her.

Deciding to put that aside, Mace instead focused on the latter. “Alderaan huh… how do you know that Obi-Wan?” He questioned carefully.

“…I looked it up,” Obi-Wan fiddled with his pad again. “After getting a body… after what I experienced, I wondered if there were help out there for people who were taken who got away from the slavers. Alderaan runs one program and so does Corellia actually. And Ryloth has some programs but they’re more under threat since Twi’leks are considered…” He flushed darkly, bowing his head further.

Crouching down so he was in front of Obi-Wan, Mace tilted the others chin up with two fingers so he could meet his eyes. “…Do you like him?” He asked quietly.

Obi-Wan blinked at him in return. “…He’s just a kid master… just like me. And just like me, we need the adults around us to take the right choice.” He said quietly.

‘…Alright, seems like we’re freeing a slave.’ Mace smiled a bit at his padawan and then reached out to pick him up so he could deposit him in the hoverchair. ‘My padawan.’


	19. Forgiven but not forgotten

Ruffling the copper colored hair while pressing the juice box into Obi-Wan’s hands, Mace smirked down at the kids when Anakin lifted his own box to signal he still had juice from when he arrived and Obi-Wan had gotten them both one each. “Next time, you’re getting your own juice box kid.” The council master snarked before returning to the kitchen with Anakin watching him with his wide eyes

Biting his bottom lip with wide eyes, Anakin focused back on Obi-Wan who grinned back as he relaxed into the squishy couch. “He really is wrapped up around your fingers just like the council masters say. You just had to mention you were thirsty and that you were empty for juice.” He beamed in awe, having heard the gossip when he was with Qui-Gon earlier that day getting tunics from the quartermasters and honestly, the blond had been dying to ask about it all day.

Being in the temple was nothing like what he expected and even two weeks after being really accepted after the Naboo business he still wasn’t used to everything, trying to adjust to being a padawan.

And having _Obi-Wan_.

Shrugging, sipping the cold juice with a small smile, Obi-Wan hummed. “A little bit, he cares a lot about me and just wants me to be safe… I’m still adjusting to being alive pretty much and he worries about that.” Obi-Wan confessed softly.

That had Anakin wiggling a bit, eyes wide. “So you really did die? I mean I heard it a few times since I came to the temple, a lot of my classmates ask about it actually since my master visits your master for dinners and I get to come along so they want to know about you because some think you came from a different temple and others say its cause you died. That’s… I don’t know what to make of that really.” The recently ten year old babbled a bit with a small frown while staring at Obi-Wan.

Fiddling a bit with the juice box, Obi-Wan nodded slowly. “…I died in a mining cave after slavers got their hands on me when I was sent away from the temple. Its… I still don’t understand it but I was kind of tied to the living somehow?” He let out a low noise of both confusion and resignation before shrugging while settling his hands and the juice box in his lap. “Pretty much I’m the same as I was except its the same spirit in a cloned young body because as a ghost I didn’t grow, didn’t mature.” He finished up with.

That had Anakin scrunching up his nose. “…Is that why you helped me and mom?” He blinked at Obi-Wan, catching onto the slavery part very obviously.

Pausing, Obi-Wan weighed his answers before shrugging a bit. “I helped you because Master Qui-Gon can sometimes be an idiot and he’s the adult. Adults are responsible for us, they take the decisions but _we_ have to live with them. We’re the ones that end up just as scarred and traumatized and sad… so we have to trust them to take the right choices.” He finished.

Unvoiced was the ‘and I don’t trust most adults anymore to do that.’ in Obi-Wan’s voice as he stared at Anakin.

It occurred to Obi-Wan that Mace and Qui-Gon could most certainly hear them too, considering the painful silence from the kitchen but it didn’t exactly bother him as he could feel Mace gently reach out and brush against Obi-Wan’s Force aura in a soothing motion.

If there was one adult Obi-Wan did actually trust, it was his own master as Mace _tried_ as long as he had the right information to act on. That was after all why the padawan had informed his master about Anakin’s former status and at the time, his mothers current one.

‘And well I do also trust Depa,’ He mused to himself while taking a sip of juice. ‘Master Plo isn’t so bad either and Che is decent for a healer… and I guess I can give those who were young when I was still alive the benefit of doubt for now…’ Obi-Wan continued pondering as he drank.

Suddenly Anakin pointed his finger at Obi-Wan, eyes wide as the redhead blinked at him. “You don’t trust Master Yoda.” He gasped.

Blinking, still sipping at his juice, Obi-Wan cocked his head before letting go of the straw. “…Well no. He’s kind of the reason I got sent to Bandomeer, I remember that much. Forgiving and forgetting the past are two different things and people have to earn my trust. Master Mace earned my trust, so did Master Depa.” He shrugged as if all of that should be obvious but to be fair, Anakin didn’t have even half the facts.

Obi-Wan did, he was quite aware that Yoda had sent him to Bandomeer in an attempt to be Qui-Gon’s padawan.

And thanks to the irresponsibility of adults he was suppose to trust his life to and the unscrupulousness of others, Obi-Wan had become a slave and died in pain though luckily those memories were rather faint to Obi-Wan now.

Maybe a Force blessing to try and shield him from the trauma of it.

“…Oh.” Anakin blinked and finished off his juice quietly.

He looked up however when Obi-Wan brushed his hand against Anakin’s, the older boy smiling a bit at him. “Hey… I know things are still kind of weird and maybe a bit scary but… if you need anything, you got me to come to. I’ll try to help you out.” Obi-Wan tilted his head, eyes glittering with warmth.

A soft noise came from Anakin’s throat before he grinned. “Well, I guess you need someone around to stop you from walking into walls so I guess I can go to you and you can come to me.” He chirped.

Obi-Wan pouted. “That happened one time!”

“Eight.” Came Mace deep rumble from the kitchen, prompting Obi-Wan to whine and their guests to chuckle and giggle respectively.

The future was bright and open.

To all of them.


End file.
